i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
