Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
