omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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