Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
