Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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