even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
