Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We smell like vodka and hangover
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