The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
