I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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