yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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