I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize