Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
