I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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