i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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