Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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