some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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