I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
