honey bunches of taint.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
