he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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