She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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