yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
