So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
