at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
high people should be assigned attendants
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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