Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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