You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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