no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
