I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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