TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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