Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Randomize
