bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
