dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
