I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
