I'm eating all of the evidence.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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