Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
