exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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