Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
