she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
