i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
