new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
