I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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