It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
