explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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