I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
