dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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