If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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