i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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