i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
