i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize