no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
