I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
