just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
