sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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