Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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