so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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