my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
