She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
