Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
