he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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