What did we do last night that was yellow?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
