everyone is single if you try hard enough
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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