No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize