I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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