how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
